It Is Official…I am the Meanest Mom in the World!

There is a common misconception among parents that announcements regarding improved “safety” on social sharing sites have actually changed the way the sites do business.  For an example of how MySpace has improved….check out the postings by Joseph Clipper.

There is a more widely spread belief that if your child is on-line and has been told of all the dangers lurking in the shadows of cyber space he or she will be safe.

For all of you that believe that…I’ve put on a HUGE pot of very strong coffee.  Heaven knows I got my cup this week.

My daughter has spent time in my office as I moved from account registrations to the National Sex Offender’s data base.  She has listened to report after report in Florida about young girls who have sealed their destinies by running out to meet the adorable teenagers on-line who turn out to be the worst kind of monsters.

On Sunday night at 11:30 p.m. as I was performing a last check of the site I work for before going to bed, I noticed that the modem was indicating someone was on the phone.  I found my daughter in her closet, engaged in a phone chat with someone she met in an AOL Teen Chat Room.  First she swore she didn’t have the phone.  I paged it and traced it to the closet floor hidden under clothing.  Then she swore the “boy” she was talking to was someone from school.  I may have been born at night…but it wasn’t last night…and fortunately I have learned to trust my instincts.

I’ve turned into a prison guard.  No out, no friends over, no television, no internet, no phone, no I-pod, no stereo.  I drive her to school and meet her at the bus stop in the afternoon.  She will realize eventually that the privileges she had were not used responsibly.  She will realize that these little “hardships” she is suffering are a thousand times easier that what could occur as a result of her actions.

Now that I am in possession of her passwords, I’ve found a picture that appears to be a man between the ages of 25 and 27.  She tried to convince me that he is a senior at her school. 

Currently, and unknown to the person she spoke to on the phone on Sunday, I am now communicating with him under her name.  At 1:00 in the afternoon….two e-mails have been received in her account, with one stating that they can “run away” together.  I can’t wait to see how this all turns out.

Toss your misconceptions out the window, invade their privacy and be all over your child’s internet activity.  Read the e-mails, watch the instant messaging,   be that nosy nasty parent…but keep your child alive.

I’ll be the first to admit that I am the meanest mom in the world right now…but my daughter will not be a statistic.

Desperate Housewife Yes…Wistera Lane? Not So Much…

For the third time in two weeks, a female teacher has been arrested for having a sexual relationship with a male student in our area.  This time it was a bit too close for comfort.  Reporters are now camped outside my daughter’s school and the school Principal is not returning calls. 

 Wake up people….this is real life, not Wisteria Lane.  Although you may be desperate, you are certainly not Eva Longoria having an affair with a young gardener.

What in heaven’s name are these women thinking?  First off, in your forties, why would you endeavor to take on “raising” another child in a sexual relationship?  Secondly, why is the principal not speaking with anyone and not accountable for what happens in his school?  Apparently, he has no problem with reporters hawking students that attend the school as they gather like vultures on the property.

Most importantly, however, is the mentality of the fine upstanding citizens of the Tampa area.  “Good job son” stands among the comments posted on our local news boards.  My young daughter noted the fact that this woman dresses like a twelve year old “Prostitot”, and has young boys gathered around her constantly.  If the students of the school notice this, why did the administration not notice the behavior?

Had the victim had been a seventeen year-old female; the attitude would certainly be different.  There is no difference in the crime due to the gender of the victim.  An adult charged with the care of a minor child violated that trust in the worst way possible.  The courts need to stop the “slap on the wrist” punishment issued to these sexual offenders and toss their delicate little behinds in jail. 

Here, in the year 2008, we are still using a double standard and that is appalling.  A female teacher who has a physical relationship with a minor is just as guilty as a male teacher who does the same.  The crime should not be glorified, nor should any special consideration be given.

Unfortunately, the list of victims affected by the decision this woman made is not limited to the boy.  The woman in custody has a teen-aged daughter that attends the school where she taught.  Acting so irresponsibly as a teacher is a crime, acting that selfishly as a parent is incomprehensible. 

There Are No Instructions for A First Broken Heart

Children do not come with instruction manuals.  Like any new product, I firmly believe they should.  As a matter of fact, why should only one family per week benefit from Super Nanny’s knowledge? I think Jo should capitalize on her child rearing knowledge and develop that manual! 

Infancy is easy.  Pat here to burp, rock in a consistent swaying motion to quiet crying.  Feed here.  Have plenty of Tide Pens ready for spit up stains.   It all seems simple enough.  Around the age when you expose your child to other children it gets a bit more complicated.  Issues like parents who send children to day care while they are carrying what all parents know as “the crud.  Solution – visit pediatrician…get icky thick pink stuff.  School brings more questions.   “Hey Mom….why does my classmate have two Moms instead of a Mom and Dad?” Accccck!  Deal with child in a matter of fact voice, and explain according to family values and religious beliefs.

Before you know it you are smack in the middle of the dreaded teenaged years.  Suddenly, the little girl that once kissed a worm in your friend’s back yard notices …. (Gasp….) boys!

Rule # 1 –Teenaged boys are walking hormones, therefore, boys lie.  Boys Lie.  Boys will say anything to get into your pants and do anything to get you into their pants.  BOYS LIE is required memorization for every teen girl.

Once they ignore that with a burning determination you wish they would apply to cleaning their rooms, the inevitable happens.  The dreaded first broken heart appears and suddenly you wish someone told you before you had this child that you would feel everything that they feel.  The problem is you feel is from a parent’s point of view…and that is magnified a million times.

Broken hearts are bad enough; however, they are worse when they are suffered as the result of betrayal by your “best friend”.   Even worse – your best friend begins accusing you of things that you aren’t doing to deal with her guilt.

Rule # 2 – No friend that values a boyfriend more than they value a loyal friend is worth calling a friend.

These are two lessons that are the first of many that will count.  Most importantly, they are two situations where adult reason makes sense, but your heart is still shattered in a million tiny pieces.  That my dear is called commonly called irony.

This is the time Moms and Dads everywhere will do everything within their power to take the pain away, all the while knowing that no matter what they say or do,the child must still swallow this bitter pill.

So – I’ll go get the crazy glue and a quart of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey and get ready to have a shoulder full of tears and such ….heaven knows my little girl is growing up and I’m going to need those Tide pens again…but this time they will be removing mascara.

Coming Soon…The New Definition of Going Green

“Going Green” is about to take on new meaning.  Talk of stopping the use of plastic is going to mean more than cutting down on the purchase of disposable products and purchasing cloth shopping sacks.  America is finally feeling the effects of the “Charge It” generation.  Hold on to your boots kids, we are about to return to more disciplined times.

Most prevalent in the headlines is the sub-prime mortgage industry.  Firm after firm has imploded, and the Wall Street Firms that invested heavily in those mortgages are about to topple.   People who trusted these investment firms to manage retirement accounts have collectively lost billions of dollars, which presents a crisis for those ready to retire.  These Baby-Boomers are now faced with working well into their seventies to compensate for the losses. 

America’s homeless population rises by the day, as banks file foreclosure actions in rising numbers.  People are aware for the first time in a long time that the loaf of bread which was $1.29 last week now costs $1.40.  Comparison shopping is back in style.I can visualize the nightmare.  The same children that were spoiled rotten with designer clothing at top prices are going to be holding their breath until they turn blue.  Gone are the days where a credit card can be handed over with a “Now dear, use good judgment”.    The reign of terror created by American eagle, Aeropostle and others is just about over. 

Over a year ago, I voiced an opinion that the predicted “nine month cycle” of a real estate crisis would not turn out as the “experts” were forecasting.  We can no longer use plastic to put ourselves into debt for expensive video game systems, designer clothing and other frivolous commodities. 

Now that we have people making mortgage payments and tax payments courtesy of Visa and American Express, what happens when they default on those payments?  The cycle has to stop. 

Cut the cards, shred them, burn them …throw away the remains.  If you cannot pay for it in cash, don’t buy it.  If you cannot qualify for an A mortgage do not buy a home.  Let personal responsibility reign and for heaven’s sake, when you say “I’m going green “apply the philosophy to your budget as well.

New Entry On The Endangered Species List…Ethics.

In the wee hours of the morning, somewhere in America the peaceful sleep of any given citizen is rudely interrupted by the pounding bass of a car whizzing by, or if you are truly unlucky stuck at a red light outside one’s home. 

Long gone are the days of holding a door for someone more advanced in age and hearing a polite thank you, now the act of courtesy draws a worrisome leer and thoughts of an ulterior motive.

Visions of the American Dream of success and independence once meant diligent work practices, long hours and an endless desire to learn, improve upon and polish.  Small businesses flourished and when you walked into the local vegetable store you were greeted by a clerk that was not conversing on a cell phone to a friend as you patiently waited for service. The owner greeted you and often tossed an apple to the children you had in tow. 

In my quest for an experienced and talented beautician last year, I went to a salon that was recommended to me by a co-worker.  During my color and cut, the beautician was interrupted twenty times with calls from friends and family, and she took each call as I sat and waited at various stages of a service I was paying for.  My time held no value.  Needless to say, I never returned to that establishment. 

“Customer Care” now means a sophisticated phone system which directs you to a foreign country where the labor rates are cheap, and often, due to the language barrier, the customers receive no care at all.  What they experience is an ever increasing level of frustration as they are asked to repeat the same sentiment over and over again as the employee on the other end uses a translation system to decipher what they are saying.

The dependence of business and society on the internet has opened a whole new sector of corporate thieves who feel they are entitled to gain the trust of companies and of private citizens, and then deliberately and methodically steal trade secrets, hack into databases and personal information without a second thought.  Some steal money, others steal services.  No matter what the commodity, my greatest concern is the fact that these hackers have no sense of guilt.  They lay their heads on comfortable pillows at night and close their eyes without a thought to the crimes they have committed or the trusts they have violated.Perhaps it is the new parenting, or perhaps the increasing need to keep up with the Joneses has reached such a distorted importance that we have come to no regard for the work of others.  No matter the cause, this new sense of entitlement has come at a much higher cost than that which we can define in financial terms. 

As for me, I have decided I will do all I can to preserve the ethics I was lucky enough to learn as a child.