It Is Official…I am the Meanest Mom in the World!

There is a common misconception among parents that announcements regarding improved “safety” on social sharing sites have actually changed the way the sites do business.  For an example of how MySpace has improved….check out the postings by Joseph Clipper.

There is a more widely spread belief that if your child is on-line and has been told of all the dangers lurking in the shadows of cyber space he or she will be safe.

For all of you that believe that…I’ve put on a HUGE pot of very strong coffee.  Heaven knows I got my cup this week.

My daughter has spent time in my office as I moved from account registrations to the National Sex Offender’s data base.  She has listened to report after report in Florida about young girls who have sealed their destinies by running out to meet the adorable teenagers on-line who turn out to be the worst kind of monsters.

On Sunday night at 11:30 p.m. as I was performing a last check of the site I work for before going to bed, I noticed that the modem was indicating someone was on the phone.  I found my daughter in her closet, engaged in a phone chat with someone she met in an AOL Teen Chat Room.  First she swore she didn’t have the phone.  I paged it and traced it to the closet floor hidden under clothing.  Then she swore the “boy” she was talking to was someone from school.  I may have been born at night…but it wasn’t last night…and fortunately I have learned to trust my instincts.

I’ve turned into a prison guard.  No out, no friends over, no television, no internet, no phone, no I-pod, no stereo.  I drive her to school and meet her at the bus stop in the afternoon.  She will realize eventually that the privileges she had were not used responsibly.  She will realize that these little “hardships” she is suffering are a thousand times easier that what could occur as a result of her actions.

Now that I am in possession of her passwords, I’ve found a picture that appears to be a man between the ages of 25 and 27.  She tried to convince me that he is a senior at her school. 

Currently, and unknown to the person she spoke to on the phone on Sunday, I am now communicating with him under her name.  At 1:00 in the afternoon….two e-mails have been received in her account, with one stating that they can “run away” together.  I can’t wait to see how this all turns out.

Toss your misconceptions out the window, invade their privacy and be all over your child’s internet activity.  Read the e-mails, watch the instant messaging,   be that nosy nasty parent…but keep your child alive.

I’ll be the first to admit that I am the meanest mom in the world right now…but my daughter will not be a statistic.

Desperate Housewife Yes…Wistera Lane? Not So Much…

For the third time in two weeks, a female teacher has been arrested for having a sexual relationship with a male student in our area.  This time it was a bit too close for comfort.  Reporters are now camped outside my daughter’s school and the school Principal is not returning calls. 

 Wake up people….this is real life, not Wisteria Lane.  Although you may be desperate, you are certainly not Eva Longoria having an affair with a young gardener.

What in heaven’s name are these women thinking?  First off, in your forties, why would you endeavor to take on “raising” another child in a sexual relationship?  Secondly, why is the principal not speaking with anyone and not accountable for what happens in his school?  Apparently, he has no problem with reporters hawking students that attend the school as they gather like vultures on the property.

Most importantly, however, is the mentality of the fine upstanding citizens of the Tampa area.  “Good job son” stands among the comments posted on our local news boards.  My young daughter noted the fact that this woman dresses like a twelve year old “Prostitot”, and has young boys gathered around her constantly.  If the students of the school notice this, why did the administration not notice the behavior?

Had the victim had been a seventeen year-old female; the attitude would certainly be different.  There is no difference in the crime due to the gender of the victim.  An adult charged with the care of a minor child violated that trust in the worst way possible.  The courts need to stop the “slap on the wrist” punishment issued to these sexual offenders and toss their delicate little behinds in jail. 

Here, in the year 2008, we are still using a double standard and that is appalling.  A female teacher who has a physical relationship with a minor is just as guilty as a male teacher who does the same.  The crime should not be glorified, nor should any special consideration be given.

Unfortunately, the list of victims affected by the decision this woman made is not limited to the boy.  The woman in custody has a teen-aged daughter that attends the school where she taught.  Acting so irresponsibly as a teacher is a crime, acting that selfishly as a parent is incomprehensible. 

There Are No Instructions for A First Broken Heart

Children do not come with instruction manuals.  Like any new product, I firmly believe they should.  As a matter of fact, why should only one family per week benefit from Super Nanny’s knowledge? I think Jo should capitalize on her child rearing knowledge and develop that manual! 

Infancy is easy.  Pat here to burp, rock in a consistent swaying motion to quiet crying.  Feed here.  Have plenty of Tide Pens ready for spit up stains.   It all seems simple enough.  Around the age when you expose your child to other children it gets a bit more complicated.  Issues like parents who send children to day care while they are carrying what all parents know as “the crud.  Solution – visit pediatrician…get icky thick pink stuff.  School brings more questions.   “Hey Mom….why does my classmate have two Moms instead of a Mom and Dad?” Accccck!  Deal with child in a matter of fact voice, and explain according to family values and religious beliefs.

Before you know it you are smack in the middle of the dreaded teenaged years.  Suddenly, the little girl that once kissed a worm in your friend’s back yard notices …. (Gasp….) boys!

Rule # 1 –Teenaged boys are walking hormones, therefore, boys lie.  Boys Lie.  Boys will say anything to get into your pants and do anything to get you into their pants.  BOYS LIE is required memorization for every teen girl.

Once they ignore that with a burning determination you wish they would apply to cleaning their rooms, the inevitable happens.  The dreaded first broken heart appears and suddenly you wish someone told you before you had this child that you would feel everything that they feel.  The problem is you feel is from a parent’s point of view…and that is magnified a million times.

Broken hearts are bad enough; however, they are worse when they are suffered as the result of betrayal by your “best friend”.   Even worse – your best friend begins accusing you of things that you aren’t doing to deal with her guilt.

Rule # 2 – No friend that values a boyfriend more than they value a loyal friend is worth calling a friend.

These are two lessons that are the first of many that will count.  Most importantly, they are two situations where adult reason makes sense, but your heart is still shattered in a million tiny pieces.  That my dear is called commonly called irony.

This is the time Moms and Dads everywhere will do everything within their power to take the pain away, all the while knowing that no matter what they say or do,the child must still swallow this bitter pill.

So – I’ll go get the crazy glue and a quart of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey and get ready to have a shoulder full of tears and such ….heaven knows my little girl is growing up and I’m going to need those Tide pens again…but this time they will be removing mascara.